We are continuing the mission. It’s called multitasking. I didn’t want this to turn into another argument, either. Yelling about which one of us is failing somehow by not prioritizing the right things hasn’t been getting us anywhere.
[ he keeps thinking he won’t do it the next time he talks to her, too. What is the wizardry Rey’s been using? ]
[ ...which isn’t that big a deal; Simon’s self-esteem isn’t rocky enough for her barbs to be particularly offensive. But it does make it clear that talking to her, because they’ve had some similar experiences, or because being lumped in with the humans who all accept each other and ostracize her bothers him, or both, is not as simple as trying to listen without insulting her back.
Knowing she’s so prickly to everyone — even Rey said Hayame finds apologies insulting — should make it simpler. People get mad at her or find things to disagree with because she’s being a dick. But that’s becoming clear in tandem with the fact that in comparison to everyone else Simon’s met on the team, or ever, her perspective on life is itself incredibly foreign and brutal. ]
[ he stops short of trying this again, though, He’s not Hayame, and doesn’t resent the very idea of concern for his wellbeing, so her total preoccupation with it isn’t exactly relatable. But Simon can’t say he’s a total stranger to it, either. Weeks of decompensating from a car accident bad enough that it made local news is ample time for moments where everyone’s reactions are more suffocating than comforting, and moments of humiliating weakness that it feels like you’re losing yourself to.
It’s not nearly as easy to talk about as the whole “got uploaded into a robot in an underwater hell lab after the end of the world” thing. Especially not to somebody who’s obsessed with weakness and inferiority and death. But it’s what keeps him from drilling her about it again. ]
Where I come from, it’s normal to expect people to be having a hard time when bad things beyond their control happen to them, and when you ask how they’re doing, you’re showing that you care. Which we value. It’s not like the whole weakness and shame thing doesn’t exist, but it’s not as important to us as it is to you. It wasn’t meant to be backhanded. Anyway, it wasn’t just an act of charity. The only other person I know who has experience with the body stuff is Catherine, and she doesn’t even mind it, so she doesn’t get why I should mind it. It’s just good to feel like you’re not crazy sometimes.
[ ...she’s not gonna like any of that either, but if he has to be the one to explain shit thoroughly then hey whatever. ]
That’s... true, but it doesn’t feel right to just let somebody say things like that about themselves, especially when they talk about suicide all the time.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
[... no hayame ur also just really bad at explaining urself]
no subject
Why does it even matter? Why is being strong so much more important than everything else?
no subject
I will not die like that.
[er- live like that]
no subject
[ hayame oh my god ]
What is it with the dying thing? Nobody’s asking you to. We’d all really prefer it if you didn’t die, actually.no subject
no subject
1/2
no subject
no subject
[ oh god it keeps happening...
Wait, wait, Hayame— Jesus Christ, okay, now I’m even more worried. Look, you’ll be out of there soon, don’t do anything dangerous.how is Simon supposed to take this? He can’t afford to not take it seriously, right? WHAT IS HE SUPPOSED TO DO... ]
no subject
I will be out of here once it is no longer necessary that we hide amongst these humans! So continue the mission!
no subject
I didn’t want this to turn into another argument, either. Yelling about which one of us is failing somehow by not prioritizing the right things hasn’t been getting us anywhere.
[ he keeps thinking he won’t do it the next time he talks to her, too. What is the wizardry Rey’s been using? ]
no subject
Do you accuse me of sowing it, then? You came to me- I had no plans to waste my time on arguments this day either.
[Force mind reading tbh... it's maybe cheating but quite effective]
no subject
[ ...which isn’t that big a deal; Simon’s self-esteem isn’t rocky enough for her barbs to be particularly offensive. But it does make it clear that talking to her, because they’ve had some similar experiences, or because being lumped in with the humans who all accept each other and ostracize her bothers him, or both, is not as simple as trying to listen without insulting her back.
Knowing she’s so prickly to everyone — even Rey said Hayame finds apologies insulting — should make it simpler. People get mad at her or find things to disagree with because she’s being a dick. But that’s becoming clear in tandem with the fact that in comparison to everyone else Simon’s met on the team, or ever, her perspective on life is itself incredibly foreign and brutal. ]
no subject
[because to her... it's insulting to be asked after, to be looked upon as someone who might need help or be weak.
apparently this "team" thought that was all hunky dory, but... she still isn't buying it, not from most people. not yet.]
no subject
And no thanks. I already know you could snap me in half.
[ With the human body. And probably the broken hand too, tbh. ]
no subject
[... to ask if she was alright. To surely know she was not, and yet ask in order to remind her of her failings.]
no subject
[ he stops short of trying this again, though, He’s not Hayame, and doesn’t resent the very idea of concern for his wellbeing, so her total preoccupation with it isn’t exactly relatable. But Simon can’t say he’s a total stranger to it, either. Weeks of decompensating from a car accident bad enough that it made local news is ample time for moments where everyone’s reactions are more suffocating than comforting, and moments of humiliating weakness that it feels like you’re losing yourself to.
It’s not nearly as easy to talk about as the whole “got uploaded into a robot in an underwater hell lab after the end of the world” thing. Especially not to somebody who’s obsessed with weakness and inferiority and death. But it’s what keeps him from drilling her about it again. ]
Where I come from, it’s normal to expect people to be having a hard time when bad things beyond their control happen to them, and when you ask how they’re doing, you’re showing that you care. Which we value. It’s not like the whole weakness and shame thing doesn’t exist, but it’s not as important to us as it is to you. It wasn’t meant to be backhanded.
Anyway, it wasn’t just an act of charity. The only other person I know who has experience with the body stuff is Catherine, and she doesn’t even mind it, so she doesn’t get why I should mind it. It’s just good to feel like you’re not crazy sometimes.
[ ...she’s not gonna like any of that either, but if he has to be the one to explain shit thoroughly then hey whatever. ]
no subject
[She was captured because she was too weak. Because she had chosen to protect the mission's secrecy rather than reveal her true form.
It was her fault. Why people didn't understand that-]
So? You wish me to live so that you will not be the only one here who suffers?
no subject
What are you talking about? Getting caught by the Vakdir? That’s not failure.
no subject
no subject
no subject
My life is not your responsibility, nor anyone's in this "team".
[she just doesn't consider reckless charging into insurmountable odds in the same category as ritual disembowelment.]